Childhood Trauma & Forgiveness

Have you ever been through something that was difficult & found that you just couldn't let go? Ever been so angry at someone that you knew you could never forgive? That was me...

Many years ago when I was about 8 or 9 I guess, I decided that I wanted to do a little project. I came up with the idea to make a Toothpick House. I don't recall where I got the idea but I knew I could do it and do it well. I spent hours assembling the foundation, the frame and walls. I would work on it after school until bedtime. It was becoming a work of art. I was so proud of myself and what I was making. It was, I think, amazing.

One day while still working on my beloved project, I somehow managed to get into some sort of argument with my younger sister, Rachel. She must have been about 6 or so. I don't recall the details of the argument but I vividly recall the outcome:

Rachel smashed my beautiful Toothpick House to smithereens.

I was so angry

I was so mad

I was so hurt

I wanted revenge

I withheld forgiveness

I probably even hated her


Fast-forward to Saturday, November 7, 2009

My sister-in-law Stacilee was working on a Christmas project and asked everyone what their favorite thing about each sibling and a memory...you know where this is going.

My memory of Rachel was, of course, the "Toothpick House Incident" and the funny thing was, it was Rachel's memory of me.


Fast-forward to Monday, December 14, 2009

I get a small package in the mail from Rachel today and as I unwrapped the box, there was a note attached that said: Don't open until you call me

I made a phone call

"Do you want me to open in now or wait until Christmas?"
"Open in now so you can enjoy it longer."

I open the box and it's full of tissue paper. I pull out the wrapped surprise and casually say, "What is it, a toothpick house?" as a joke.

I carefully unwrap the gift and this is what I found:







A spectacularly assembled Toothpick House ornament!

Look at the snow on the roof!

A door that actually opens!



And this note on the bottom...

With tears in my eyes (mainly from laughing so hard, but some from pure joy), I decided that it was time to forgive. Time for me to do as Rachel says,
"Move on!"

Rachel, I forgive you for ruining my glorious, albeit incomplete, Toothpick House. Thanks for the wonderful surprise today...it made my day, my week, my month, my year...ok, my last
30 years! This little Toothpick House will be a treasure. Thanks for being so crafty with glue, toothpicks and glitter to make for me what I never was able to finish. I'm pretty sure yours looks so much better than mine would have.

But of course, we will never know what could have been.