14 years

This photo was taken the day Sam was born, May 27, 1999.  It's hard to believe that this little tiny baby is now...

...this big kid! 

Where did all that time go?  As I look back over the last 14 years, there is a lot of wonderful and fun memories and unfortunately, there are so not so great memories...surgeries, the unknown, will he walk, will he talk, endless therapies (that continue weekly to this day), medical appointments (with neurologist, neurosurgeon, orthopedic surgeon, psychiatrist), seizure control, ER visits, medication, IEPs, school searches, insurance issues, etc.

We are now in the "transition" period of life where we have to make some BIG decisions; college or career path, job placement, medicaid waivers, where will he live, summer camp for the first time, what kind of job will he be motivated by, puberty, medication, behavior management.  

The list is endless...

As I've seen the other boys his age that are in our ward grow up, I can't help but feel a bit sad about the things he will never do:

8th grade dance (held last weekend)

highschool

seminary

learners permit

girl friends

hanging out with friends

dating

prom

This list is endless too.

Sometimes life takes you down a path that you would have never chosen for yourself but you are a better person for having gone down it.

How did we survive....

pan·ic

   [pan-ik] noun, adjective, verb, -icked, -ick·ing.

noun

1. a sudden overwhelming fear, with or without cause, that produces hysterical or irrational behavior, and that often spreads quickly through a group of persons or animals.

2. an instance, outbreak, or period of such fear.

Last night I had to take Abby to choir practice.   I left at 6:15pm to get to the church by 6:30pm and am to pick her up at 7:10pm.  So overall, I was gone for a little over an hour.

I forgot my phone.

What?  What will I do?  What if someone needs to call me or email me or text me or "hey tell" me?  Will the world end in the next hour?  I have no idea because I DON'T HAVE MY PHONE!

How is it that we've become so dependent on a phone, albeit a Smart Phone?  I remember in the olden days where I would send Sam (you know, the one with special needs!) off to school and run errands and there was no way to get a hold of me.  If someone called, I'd have to wait til I got home to check caller ID.  If someone had left me a message, I would just have to wait til I checked the answering machine.  GASP!  I remember being stuck in the ER for 15 hours with 3 year old Sam and 3 week old Abby and I had to use a wall phone!  

How did we ever get along without our cell phones?  Did our life have less purpose back then?  Why are we so consumed with being "available" 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year?  

I'd kind of like to have a balance between "the good old days" and "nowadays".  I'm actually the type who turns off the cell phone at night.  Crazy, I know!  I know some people who sleep with their iphones (I will not name and names, you know who you are).

I just don't want to be so connected all the time.  

I still like to tell my kids...."I remember when we didn't have cell phones"  or the classic line, "I didn't get a cell phone til I was 30!"

That was only just last year you know...